Hope this works.. have pics too!!  Click the link also!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXe9vGhOt_c

Yesterday, my little man, my youngest child, my baby boy learned ... TO RIDE HIS BIKE!!  Yay!!  Of course though, I don't have any pictures.  :(  It was a little difficult to try to juggle a quite expensive camera, point, focus, shoot, run, hold on to a bike and make sure that if the wobbling, unsteadiness came back I was ready to spring into SuperMommy mode and swoop in to try to prevent the inevitable falling and scratching of knees.  (Okay I realize that this was totally a run-on sentence but I couldn't help it!!)

So, Yes, we have been working on this for a while now.. a very long while to be precise.  He, my little man, is too much like his daddy and I. Cautious yet yearning to try something new.  Scared but trying to hide it with bravery.  Timid, yet adventurous. I love him so dearly.  But I want him to not be afraid.  I had my moments as a child.  Those same moments, when I felt I could take on the world, but was beyond terrified to let go of the handle bars.  My dad standing there, silently by my side, sweetly encouraging me to take the next step in life.  Once I had done what I feared so much it was like having these chains unlocked from my arms, and really feeling like I could take on the world.  I want that for my son, I want that for all my kids.  The girls have always been more; more chivalrous, more defiant, more spirited and spunky.  That is so completely their nature, that is what makes them, well, them!

So back to my son.  As I was saying, he has always been a bit more on the apprehensive side when it comes to new and different.  His daddy was a bit more adventurous I think when he was younger, but like me, lacked that outgoing craziness.  Tended to shy away from some things some of the times.  (I personally still think he is braver than I am, but that is just me!)  Anywho, about a year ago, my boy wanted to learn to ride his bike without training wheels, well maybe it was a little longer than a year ago.  So we took them off of his bike.  Didn't go so well, he just couldn't get it, and quickly gave up.  I tried as hard as I could to get him back on the bike for as long as I could.  But with my work schedule, it was difficult, by the time we got home in the evenings it was way to hot outside (living in the south you will know this!)  The weekends were a bit more chaotic, since that was my only days off work to clean the house and get caught up on laundry.  He really wanted daddy to help him learn, but unfortunately, dad's work schedule was even more crazy than mine.  So it quickly was put on the back burner.  And my boy didn't push the issue, especially when he realized that eventually no-one would be there to hold him up on his bike, and he might fall.

As many of you know, a little over three months ago, we moved.  When we were packing we decided to get rid of the kids bikes they had in GA.  They had been left out in the weather and pretty neglected.  We told the kids we would get them new ones at the new place, then they could be kept in the garage and taken better care of.  My boy didn't care either way, since he still couldn't figure out how to ride anyway.  For Easter, the bunny brought them new bikes.  The daughter unit was ecstatic!  The son unit, not so much. His new bike was definitely lacking in the training wheels department.  But he did have a brand spankin' new helmet to go with it!!  He didn't care, this meant he would have to learn, and would undoubtedly get hurt in the process.

After a few weeks, the weather started to warm up, so I decided it was time for the boy to give the new bike a whir!  He was so very hesitant.  We went out to playground, and figured maybe trying on the grass a few times at first was best.  No go.  Not going to happen.  Not with my little safety officer.  Back to the garage with the brand new bike.

 A few more tries here and there.  All ending the same way. Him crying, me upset, his sister laughing and the bike back in the garage.  No, he was not crying because he was hurt.  Maybe that was what I should have done. Maybe I should have let him fall one good time.  Just step back and let him scrape his knee, then he would see, yes it hurts at first, but it will stop hurting and it will heal.  Nope, the mommy in me can't let that happen.  Got to stay right by his side and catch him if he falls.  Maybe that is why daddy's are so much better at these sorts of things than mommy's?

So a couple of weekends ago, I decided it was time to try again. The kids and I loaded the bikes into the mini and went to the park. I thought we would give it another go on the grass, but this time somewhere the grass isn't quite so thick, but will still give that sense of safety of one falls.  My plan went well until my son wholeheartedly decided that he was just not going to learn to ride his bike and there was no talking him into it.  That's it. Finite. Finale.  La Fin.  Udgangen.  NOT HAPPENING!  With a heavy heart, a bruised leg and an upset sister, we sullenly loaded the bikes back into the mini and drove home.

Last week was the final straw.  I had had it.  He was gosh darn it all going to learn to ride a bike if it killed me!!!!  I know he is not this scared, I know he can do this, I know he just needs the right push and to keep all the dang girls in the neighborhood away while he tried.  Sunday, after much persuasion on my part, he put his helmet on, and took to the street.  We walked to the basketball/tennis court where there is a narrow sidewalk with grass on either side.  Narrow, but not to much that I can't walk/run next to the bike.  I got in front of him and looked him in the eyes and told him "Okay little boy, this is it.  Make it or break it, and I don't want to go the the ER today, so it is going to be make it!!  You can do this!  I believe in you, and you believe in yourself. Trust me!"  He laughed and asked why we would go to the ER.. I instantly thought back to a memory of my childhood when my mother fell on skates while we were at a park and broke her arm. I want to say she was teaching someone how to skate.. not me! I was on my bike, it was one of my mother's closest friends daughter!!   No more thinking of that and he doesn't need to hear that.. "I just don't son!"

We started off slow. Me running along side him.  Talking him through finding his balance. Don't look at your feet boy!  Look in front of you!  Keep peddling, and no peddling backwards doesn't do anything more than make noise so please stop because it doesn't help you go forward.  Peddle a little faster, please stop leaning over this way and turning your front wheel that way!  Don't worry about that little ant, I think it will be okay, your not going to run it over anyway.

Time for the true test, with a little speed, he seems to have his balance good.  We are coming up on a very straight part of the path, and he isn't being spastic with the front wheel.. so... I .. Slowly... Let ... Go...    So does he. 

Yep, the instant he feels me let go of the bike, he lets go of the bike to grab onto me.  UGHHH!!!!  Baby, you can't do that!!

"But Mom, you let go!"

"Yes, I know I did, I can't run around for the rest of your life attached to your bike so you can ride!"

"But Mom, you will get a good work out if you do!"

...


Seriously, did he just tell me that???  Oh my gosh.

Let's try this again.  I will let go when I think you are ready, but you can't let go. You have to keep holding on, and keep peddling.  Please!  Trust me. I will be right next to you if you start to fall.  I will catch you. "but what if you don't catch me? what will you do then?"
Well then I will pick you up and carry your broken bleeding self back to the house! Kidding!  You will be fine!

Running along the walkway.. steady.. one.. two.. three.. I ... Let .. Go...  so does he.

Yes, I could keep going like this.  Because for two hours, this is what happened.  I let go, he let go.  We give up for the day.

Yesterday we decide to give it another go.  Before we start down the street though, we talk about the importance of him not letting go.  It was okay if I let go, but he really shouldn't!  He agrees to try really hard not to let go.

"Ready baby?"  "Ready Mom!, I will try not to let go today!"  "Okay son.  Let's go, I will stay next to you until I think your ready, then I won't tell you if I am going to let go, just keep peddlin!"
 "Okay mom!"

Here I am, running along side him, again!  He is getting better!  He has more balance now then he did before!  I think he can do it this time.  I think he is ready.. a little faster.. around this next curve is the straight part.. almost there.. almost time to let go... okay, here it is... faster, faster... I .. Let .. Go.... He keeps his hands on the handle bars.. running along side.. I am slowing down, let him get a little further "Keep peddling!!"  (Thinking in my head.. please don't fall.. he can do it!)  He is doing it! Maybe he doesn't realize I let go.. maybe he thinks I am still holding on, ready to stop him from falling..Oh my gosh.. he has it! He is still going!!
 
HE HASN'T FALLEN... HE IS DOING IT!!  

HE IS RIDING HIS BIKE!!!!!!!!!!


I start screaming, quietly of course.. I am jumping up and down!!  I am clapping!!  I am crying!  He's done it!  Then suddenly it dawns on me...

No worries!  He doesn't get hurt.  I am able to catch up to him and help him coast safely to the grass, where he gently, gradually, gracefully, sort of crashes to the grass. Yet he is laughing!  He is as overjoyed as I am!!  We are both laughing and hugging and so proud of him!!  His confidence is stronger than it has ever been!  He can now see that he can accomplish anything. That it won't hurt as bad as he thinks, and that it is so worth trying it!

He is so happy, he rides his bike back to our house, up the street from where we are, with no grass on either side of him!  (With mom running right along side him of course to help him stop, and to catch him if he falls!)

Hmm.. I have just been sitting around, sort of bored today.  Not really a lot going on. Since I finished my final project for Accounting, I don't have to worry about working on that.  I did do an online assignment, but that isn't even due for another week or two.  Hubby and I went to the mall, he is looking for a new pair of shoes, wants to try out those new Sketcher's, the Shape-Ups. I want a pair also, but will wait a bit longer.  He needs them more than I do since the claims are to help with back and foot pain also, he has a lot more pain than I do, I simply want them to help get me in shape, duh!! Especially when I walk in the morning, which I have failed to do in at least 3 weeks.. I know, I am bad.

Anywho, JCP didn't have any of those shoes in his size, so we just said to heck with it and came home.  Been lazy since then.  I did manage to muster up the energy to bake a chocolate layered with chocolate cake. (I know, I just admitted to not having walked for a couple of weeks, now I am baking chocolate cakes.. really really bad!!)  But it looks so good, I do believe the kids and hubby will cut into it before I do, but I will have to have at least a little sliver!

Not much else has been going on in the oh so fabulous life of us.  Today was actually nice, the heavens parted and the sun shone!!  Brilliant!  It was getting really depressing since it has rained almost none stop since Saturday.  But today was absolutely gorgeous!

Tomorrow is a professional dress day at school. Yep that means we have to dress as if going to work.  Not a problem, since I was a member of the working class until very recently.  It is just weird to have to dress up to go to school, good thing I never attended a private school!!

Well, I guess I am good on the update for now.  Lots going on in the next couple of months, but I will post all that as it happens!!  Can't wait to see you Adonis!!

Choa!

Kids are off to school, hubby is off to work. I am sitting here reading blogs and surfing the net and should be getting ready for school myself. But I have a few more minutes. I realized I haven't written anything recently. I was going to a few days ago, but then decided against it. I know what I want to say but really don't want to offend anyone.

I will just say it though, if someone gets offended (someone in particular)then I will remove this.

I received a phone call last week. One I had hoped I would never get. One of those "oh shit" phone calls. One of those calls, when you really don't know what to say or do because you are so far away you feel helpless with hands tied.

I am a huge family person, I guess that is how I should word it. My family is everything to me. My extended family and my immediate family. I love my family! I would do anything for any of them, (well okay, 99% of them anyway!!) Moving away from my family was a very hard thing for me, yet at the same time it has been wonderful for our little family unit. We have met new and fabulous friends. We have seen parts of the country that we didn't think we ever would and we are learning and growing culturally. The kids may have not been to pleased the first time we moved. And definitely weren't jumping for total joy the second time we moved. But we have adapted and grown, we have moved on and up, now life is back to as normal as we can be.

Yet, when things happen back 'home' (I use that term loosely because technically California is not my home anymore) I tend to get very homesick and lonely. I feel like I should be there for support of my family if it is something not good and I should be there for ceremonious joy and partying if it is something good. Yet, when you live 2500+ miles away from the majority of your family, plane tickets can get mighty expensive, so you have to decide what necessitates the expenditure. I have missed several funerals, but was able to make it for a wedding, believe me, I feel absolutely torn over that. Should I have not gone to the wedding, and gone to the funerals? Well I guess that should be a different blog topic. My initial response though, the wedding was planned, more time to dissolve the expenses into my budget. Funerals alas aren't planned, which is a good thing because who really wants to know ahead of time when a dear loved one will leave us? But that makes plane tickets a lot more expensive, and then, what are you really going for? You can't change the outcome or situation. Okay, enough of that, I am depressed enough as it is.

Back to the phone call. My sister called me. I love my sister dearly. No we haven't always been the closest of sisters, but who honestly has always had the best-sister-in-the-world relationship down pat with their sister their whole lives? At one point or another over the course of 26-27 years there are bound to be some disagreements and arguments, even some moments of jealousy or intimidation. Anyway, the aforementioned wedding was my sisters. Yes, she has been married to a wonderful man for just over a year now. He makes her so happy, and I don't remember a time when I could honestly say my sister was definitely in the place she should be at in life! She is loved deeply and so IN love that it is almost sickening!! So when she called I knew immediately that something was wrong.  It was the weirdest thing too. I was standing at my desk making copies of some school work, I happened to look at the picture frame my sis got me for Christmas (that I still haven't put a pic in yet) and suddenly was thinking of her.  Thinking I need to call her, well, within a few moments my phone rang and it was her.  She tried to talk casually at first, but I knew, I knew something was wrong.  Then she told me.  Something she has wanted for a very long time, was just within her grasp, then in a few flitting hours that seemed like an eternity to her, she saw what she wanted so badly, then it was taken away from her. Not just taken away but ripped away.  My sister called me, shaken and upset. I didn't know how to react or even how to console her. She said she just needed someone to talk to, she didn't know why she was taking it so hard, as she really hadn't had enough time to get used to the idea. She could have talked to her husband, and did so alot, yet there are just some things you want to talk to another female about.  I understood. We talked for close to two hours, about nothing and everything. She felt better at the end of our conversation and I was glad to have helped her.

Even though I am so far away, I felt so badly that I couldn't be there for her.  Yet, I was there for her.  To me I needed to be there in person. But what could I have done?  Other than what I did on the phone.  The difficulty with moving away from family will always be the feeling of being almost alienated.  There have been plenty of other instances where things have happened and I was not told about it.  What do I expect?  Like I said, I am so far away what could I really do.

Well, I really have no idea at all where this blog just went.  I am so sorry for boring you, and will probably delete this soon.  Oh yeah, I saved this morning and came back to it this evening... so good night!