Kids are off to school, hubby is off to work. I am sitting here reading blogs and surfing the net and should be getting ready for school myself. But I have a few more minutes. I realized I haven't written anything recently. I was going to a few days ago, but then decided against it. I know what I want to say but really don't want to offend anyone.

I will just say it though, if someone gets offended (someone in particular)then I will remove this.

I received a phone call last week. One I had hoped I would never get. One of those "oh shit" phone calls. One of those calls, when you really don't know what to say or do because you are so far away you feel helpless with hands tied.

I am a huge family person, I guess that is how I should word it. My family is everything to me. My extended family and my immediate family. I love my family! I would do anything for any of them, (well okay, 99% of them anyway!!) Moving away from my family was a very hard thing for me, yet at the same time it has been wonderful for our little family unit. We have met new and fabulous friends. We have seen parts of the country that we didn't think we ever would and we are learning and growing culturally. The kids may have not been to pleased the first time we moved. And definitely weren't jumping for total joy the second time we moved. But we have adapted and grown, we have moved on and up, now life is back to as normal as we can be.

Yet, when things happen back 'home' (I use that term loosely because technically California is not my home anymore) I tend to get very homesick and lonely. I feel like I should be there for support of my family if it is something not good and I should be there for ceremonious joy and partying if it is something good. Yet, when you live 2500+ miles away from the majority of your family, plane tickets can get mighty expensive, so you have to decide what necessitates the expenditure. I have missed several funerals, but was able to make it for a wedding, believe me, I feel absolutely torn over that. Should I have not gone to the wedding, and gone to the funerals? Well I guess that should be a different blog topic. My initial response though, the wedding was planned, more time to dissolve the expenses into my budget. Funerals alas aren't planned, which is a good thing because who really wants to know ahead of time when a dear loved one will leave us? But that makes plane tickets a lot more expensive, and then, what are you really going for? You can't change the outcome or situation. Okay, enough of that, I am depressed enough as it is.

Back to the phone call. My sister called me. I love my sister dearly. No we haven't always been the closest of sisters, but who honestly has always had the best-sister-in-the-world relationship down pat with their sister their whole lives? At one point or another over the course of 26-27 years there are bound to be some disagreements and arguments, even some moments of jealousy or intimidation. Anyway, the aforementioned wedding was my sisters. Yes, she has been married to a wonderful man for just over a year now. He makes her so happy, and I don't remember a time when I could honestly say my sister was definitely in the place she should be at in life! She is loved deeply and so IN love that it is almost sickening!! So when she called I knew immediately that something was wrong.  It was the weirdest thing too. I was standing at my desk making copies of some school work, I happened to look at the picture frame my sis got me for Christmas (that I still haven't put a pic in yet) and suddenly was thinking of her.  Thinking I need to call her, well, within a few moments my phone rang and it was her.  She tried to talk casually at first, but I knew, I knew something was wrong.  Then she told me.  Something she has wanted for a very long time, was just within her grasp, then in a few flitting hours that seemed like an eternity to her, she saw what she wanted so badly, then it was taken away from her. Not just taken away but ripped away.  My sister called me, shaken and upset. I didn't know how to react or even how to console her. She said she just needed someone to talk to, she didn't know why she was taking it so hard, as she really hadn't had enough time to get used to the idea. She could have talked to her husband, and did so alot, yet there are just some things you want to talk to another female about.  I understood. We talked for close to two hours, about nothing and everything. She felt better at the end of our conversation and I was glad to have helped her.

Even though I am so far away, I felt so badly that I couldn't be there for her.  Yet, I was there for her.  To me I needed to be there in person. But what could I have done?  Other than what I did on the phone.  The difficulty with moving away from family will always be the feeling of being almost alienated.  There have been plenty of other instances where things have happened and I was not told about it.  What do I expect?  Like I said, I am so far away what could I really do.

Well, I really have no idea at all where this blog just went.  I am so sorry for boring you, and will probably delete this soon.  Oh yeah, I saved this morning and came back to it this evening... so good night!